Why Praise Alone Doesn’t Build Real Confidence
Parents naturally want to encourage their children.
We tell them they’re clever, talented, kind, and amazing — hoping it will help them feel confident in themselves.
But at Absolute Martial Arts, working with families across Carshalton, Caterham, Ewell, North Cheam, and Redhill, we often see that praise alone doesn’t always create lasting confidence.
In some cases, it can even make children more hesitant.
Why Praise Can Sometimes Backfire
Praise isn’t bad — but how it’s used matters.
When confidence relies mostly on praise, children can become:
• Afraid of making mistakes
• Dependent on adult approval
• Anxious about getting things wrong
• Reluctant to try unfamiliar challenges
They may start thinking:
“If I fail, I won’t be praised.”
This can quietly undermine confidence.
Real Confidence Comes From Experience
Children build deep confidence when they:
• Try something difficult
• Make mistakes
• Improve gradually
• See their own progress
That sense of:
“I did this myself”
is far more powerful than any compliment.
Praise supports confidence — but experience creates it.
Effort Matters More Than Outcome
One of the biggest confidence shifts happens when children learn:
• Effort is valued
• Mistakes are normal
• Progress takes time
In our martial arts classes across Surrey, children are encouraged for:
• Turning up
• Trying again
• Staying focused
• Showing resilience
Not for being perfect.
This removes pressure and makes growth feel achievable.
How Martial Arts Builds Genuine Self-Belief
Martial arts creates confidence through action.
Children learn:
• Skills that improve with practice
• That mistakes don’t equal failure
• That progress is earned, not given
Belts, techniques, and improvement all reinforce one clear message:
“If I keep going, I get better.”
That belief carries into school, friendships, and challenges outside the class.
Supporting Confidence at Home
Parents can support confidence by:
• Praising effort, not just ability
• Normalising mistakes
• Talking about progress, not comparison
• Encouraging perseverance
Simple shifts in language make a big difference:
“You worked hard on that”
“I like how you kept trying”
Building Confidence Across Surrey
At Absolute Martial Arts in Carshalton, Caterham, Ewell, North Cheam, and Redhill, our focus is on building confidence that lasts.
Parents often notice their children becoming:
• More willing to try
• Less afraid of mistakes
• Calmer under pressure
• More self-assured
Not because they were constantly praised —
but because they learned what they’re capable of.
Final Thought for Parents
Praise feels good in the moment.
But real confidence comes from children proving things to themselves.
When children experience effort, struggle, and progress —
confidence grows quietly and stays.