Helping Children Feel Comfortable Around New People
Meeting new people can be challenging for many children.
Some warm up quickly, while others feel anxious, clingy, or withdrawn in unfamiliar social situations. This is especially common in new environments, classes, or group settings.
At Absolute Martial Arts, working with families across Carshalton, Caterham, Ewell, North Cheam, and Redhill, we support many children who find new people intimidating — and we see how confidence grows with the right approach.
Discomfort With New People Is Normal
Feeling unsure around unfamiliar faces isn’t a flaw.
Children who struggle with new people are often:
• Thoughtful and observant
• Cautious by nature
• Emotionally sensitive
• Aware of social dynamics
They usually need time — not pressure — to feel safe.
Why Pushing Social Confidence Can Backfire
Well-meaning adults sometimes push children to:
• “Say hello properly”
• “Go and join in”
• “Don’t be rude”
This can increase anxiety and self-consciousness.
Children become focused on performing socially rather than settling emotionally.
Safety Comes Before Social Ease
Children don’t become comfortable around new people until they feel safe.
Safety comes from:
• Predictability
• Clear structure
• Calm leadership
• Familiar routines
Once children feel secure, social confidence follows naturally.
How Martial Arts Supports Social Comfort
In our children’s martial arts classes across Surrey, children aren’t forced into social interaction.
Instead, they:
• Follow shared routines
• Train alongside others
• Engage through activity
• Build familiarity gradually
This removes the pressure to talk or perform socially — allowing comfort to build organically.
Confidence Changes Social Behaviour
As children grow more confident, they often:
• Make eye contact more easily
• Speak up naturally
• Engage with peers without prompting
• Feel less anxious in new situations
These changes happen quietly and steadily.
What Parents Often Notice
Parents frequently tell us their child:
• Settles quicker in new environments
• Feels more relaxed around unfamiliar people
• Engages more willingly in groups
• Becomes more socially confident
Not because they were pushed —
but because they were supported.
Supporting Social Comfort at Home
Parents can help by:
• Normalising nerves
• Allowing time to warm up
• Avoiding labels like “shy”
• Praising effort, not sociability
Children don’t need to be outgoing — they need to feel safe.
Supporting Children Across Surrey
At Absolute Martial Arts in Carshalton, Caterham, Ewell, North Cheam, and Redhill, we help children feel comfortable being themselves — even around new people.
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Final Thought for Parents
Social confidence isn’t rushed.
When children feel secure, connection comes naturally.
Time, structure, and calm support make all the difference.